Remix

I'm not going to lie to you - I like the new NKOTB song.

It's catchy and makes me feel fun when I crank it up in my car.

On my way to work today, I actually listened to the words.

Ummm... I think I (and every woman) should actually

be totally offended by the lyrics!

Below are the lyrics, in red are my comments.

 

REMIX (I LIKE THE) - New Kids on the Block

Ooh oh oh ooh Oh oh oh oh oh ooh
(starts off strong, very original. Smart too.)

 
She was that girl in the corner  

Thick-rimmed glasses 

(first of all, they've missed the boat. Thick-rimmed glasses are actually
extremely cool these days)

Everybody laughed
Every time she passed us  

Ever the outcast  

Had no flava 

(sad face, no flava.)

But who got the last laugh 

Hey
 

Always came last  

No one ever kissed her  

Missing for days  

But nobody missed her

(ouch! I'm sure this lame girl's mother at least missed her.)  

She went from wallpaper 

(although, she is wallpaper. who misses wallpaper?)

To heartbreaker  

You shoulda seen her

Ooooo
 

Baby I like the new you 

(first cringe worthy time this wonderful message comes through)

Oooh ooh
 I like the Remix baby
Oooh ooh
 I like the Remix Remix

 
 Do what you doin’

 I like the way you do it  

Do what you doin’ 

I like the way you do it, do it  

(NKOTB, your lyrics are pure trash gold!)

Now her body’s so crazy  

Got mad attention  

Everybody wants her, I forgot to mention 

My baby’s so intelligent  

(side bar! she's smart. but that's just a side bar, she's hot now, that matters most.)

Down with it  

Independent  

(they're down with independence. welcome to 2013 NKOTB?)

Got it all

 
  See no one ever knew  

She was a transformer  

Went straight from a 2  

(a 2? A TWO? so far all I know is she wore glasses. spectacles does not a 2 make.)

To an I just wanna own ya  

(so, you dig her independence, but you want to own her.

Slavery is so yesterday boys.)

I can’t help myself  

Can’t help myself I need it  

Need it

 
Baby I like the new you 

(translation: we've sang this line already, and we will sing it again,

but it's really important we make it quite clear:

WE LIKE THE NEW YOU. Not the old 2. You were gross.)

Oooh ooh
 I like the Remix baby
Oooh ooh 

 I like the Remix Remix
Oooh ooh
 I like the Remix baby  

Yeah yeah yeah  

Oooh ooh

   I like the Remix Remix 

Break it down

(break it down! so 90's, so NKOTB) 
 

 I like the new you  

Forget about the old school  

(please, please forget. you were so ugly!

you wore GLASSES for crying out loud.

Let's burn that memory to the ground. We like the NEW YOU,

just so you remember.)

I love the sexy thing you turned into  

(not the old slob you were)

So gimme the v2  

(and hate yourself for the fact that there ever was a v1) 

Some of that love fuel  

(love fuel = STI?)

I like the beat that your body moves to  

Moves to

   

Do what you doin’ I like the way you do it girl

(smart. I see you are all super intelligent too!)  

I’m speechless – come on  

(speechless - probably better)

Oooh ooh
 Yeeeaaahh
 I like the Remix baby
I like the new you, oh

(fyi - the NEW you.)

Oooh ooh   

The one you turned into 

(not old you. new you. NEW.) 

 I like the Remix Remix
Yeeeahhh
 Oooh ooh
Aaaaaaahhhh  

I like the Remix baby 

 Oooh ooh
Sexy sexy thing
I like the Remix Remix  

I like the v2  

Said I like the new you baby, hey
Ooh oh oh ooh  

Oh oh oh oh oh ooh Yeeahhh

_______________________________

I dunno, isn't this offensive?

If you were ever unattractive,

had an awkward stage,

wore glasses - had acne, were chubby...

thank God you can CHANGE!

or else no guy will ever love you.

  

Maybe I'm being a huge prude,

taking all of this too far.

The song is catchy - I can't lie,

if I still "clubbed", I'd be all over the dance floor

if this song came on!

But come on... 

girl's need a different message, amirite?